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What Every Woman Should Know

Q - What should you do when you see your ex-husband rolling around in pain on the ground?
A - Shoot him again.

Q - Why do little boys whine?
A - They're practicing to be men.

Q - How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A - One: he just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. Or Alternate answer - Three: one to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.

Q - What do you call a handcuffed man?
A - Trustworthy.

Q - What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A - You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Q - Why does it take 100,000,000 sperm to fertilize one egg?
A - Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

Q - What's the best way to kill a man?
A - Put a six-pack and a naked woman in front of him and ask him to choose just one.

Q - What do men and pantyhose have in common?
A - They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch.

Q - Why do men whistle while they're on the toilet?
A - Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q - What is the difference between men and women?
A - A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q - How does a man keep his youth?
A - By giving her money, diamonds, and furs.

Q - How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A - Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals."