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Employee of the Month

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from actual employee evaluation in a large US corporation:

"His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity."

"I would not allow this employee to breed."

"Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

"He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

"This employee is depriving a villiage somewhere of an idiot."

"Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together."

"I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

"He would argue with a signpost."

"He has a knack for making strangers immediately."

"He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

"When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

"If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

"It's hard to believe that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg."